Through the Looking Glass

Hello all,

Lately, my health has been sliding downhill. I have been suffering with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome for a couple years now, and have tried a few different treatments that didn't help at all. Lately though, it has been getting significantly worse, and more debilitating. I am now going to see a specialist to find some treatment that will actually work for me. (Hopefully!)

I believe my symptoms worsening was triggered by the immense stress I was under in October, while staying with my aunt Sarah who had just had surgery on her foot, and was almost completely bed-ridden. (Or rather sofa-ridden) ;) I took care of everyone there, I cooked, cleaned, fetched icepacks for Auntie's foot, and actually had on overall nice time. We had fun watching movies like Sense and Sensability, and Pride and Prejudice. :)

She has a son Del,who is 17 yrs old, and is a type 1 diabetic. He's my best friend! The two of us have a lot of fun together, always laughing and joking, playing videogames, watching movies, whatever. =D

That was all well and good, but here comes the stress.

While I was taking care of them however, Del almost died, because his blood sugar got so low. If it wasn't for me, he WOULD have died! We were playing videogames in the basement, when I noticed that I was winning. That was quite unusual, because he always creams me in any videogame we play, so I looked over at him, and he was falling asleep! RED FLAG RED FLAG! I tried to wake him up, but he was completely non-responsive. I knew his blood sugar must be really really low, so a ran up the stairs to get his test kit. (You have to understand, it's a miracle I didn't faint. Just WALKING up the stairs can make me faint) By the time I got back dwnstairs, he was alseep. It was really hard to do, but I slapped him to make him wake up and do a test. He sat up, did the test, and passed out on the floor. His number was so low the meter wouldn't read it, it was in the low 20's. A healthy blood glucose level is around 120. I ran up the stairs, grabbed a couple of juice pouches, and got his mum (who miraculously made it down the stairs without crutches, completely unharmed). Waiting for her to get downstairs, I knelt beside him, praying, and slapped him again to wake him up. (he doesn't remember any of this) He drank both juices, and myself and Penny (a friend of my aunt's who had come to visit) helped him back onto the sofa, and then my Aunt came to his side and immediately told me what I needed to do save his life; run like the wind to get her glasses, a glucagon shot, a bowl of cheerios.... It was truely a miracle that I did it all. I had to run up and down those stairs over 15 times! Once his numbers were begining to stabilize and he was awake, Sarah and Penny went upstairs, and I fainted. I stood up, and then fainted again. He was sitting back on one sofa, waiting for his numbers to rise, and I was sitting on the other, waiting for my black, cloudy vision to clear. After about 15 minutes he was fine, but my health has not been the same since.

That traumatic experience brought the three of us a lot closer I think. I continued to care for them for about 2 weeks I think, until Sarah was able to walk on her surgical foot, with crutches, and could prepare meals for herself and Del. During that time I hid my own suffering as best I could, and we had a nice time.

Ever since then, My health was worsened, to the point where I now need a wheelchair to leave the house, and on my worst days, even inside the house. I am so weak that I can not walk up or down stairs, I have to crawl, and even then I sometimes faint at the top. Every time I eat, the blood pooling in my abdomen causes me a lot of pain, and all of my symptoms worsen. I always have extreme fatigue, but am also plagued by insomnia because of my racing heart. I could go on with more awful symptoms, but I'm too tired to type much more.. Even though I feel this poorly, until very recently I was able to able to hide it, to the pont where half of my extended family had no idea I was suffering with anything! However, it's kind of hard to hide a wheelchair!

You might be surprised to hear this, but despite my poor health, I am actually a very cheerful funny person! I love laughing (even though it hurts me now) and I REALLY love making other people laugh and be happy! Even though I feel so awful, I try not to let it ruin my life. I put a brave face on, and bear it as stoically as I can. My faith is very important to me, and it helps me to keep my spirits up. ^_^ The way I see it, it's pointless to let suffering get you down. It's already taken your body, why let it take your spirits too?! Stay positive! I am surrounded by people that love me, and with my faith, I can turn my suffering into beautiful prayers to offer to Our Lord and Our Lady for the people I love, and anyone who needs it. I want you to know (yes YOU!) that I have offered up some of my suffering up to Our Lord for you, and anyone who reads this. :)

I have every reason to believe that this Specialist, Dr.Schoenfeld, will be able to help me find the treatment that works for ME! With proper treatment, I should be able to live a pretty normal life. The problem is that POTS manifests differently in each patient, so the treatment is always different as well, and it's a trial and error process to find what works for you.

Please pray for me! And pray for Dr.Schoenfeld, that God will guide him to the right treatment! God bless you all, and I hope to be able to blog soon about my miraculous recovery!

Merry Christmas!

Lone Wolf Eimile

P.S. To learn more about Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia, and other autonomic diseases, please visit www.dinet.org. Thank you! And God bless again!